Of all that we are guilty of, perhaps the lies that we tell ourselves are the worst of our crimes. The damage that we do with those lies is unlimited. The only person that we hurt is us, our inner selves.
It would be wonderful if we could wish those lies away and only tell ourselves the truth. While being a human lie detector would be a fun party trick, using that trick on yourself would be more beneficial.
You probably pride yourself on telling the truth, yet that which you extend to others you fail to extend to yourself. You believe the lies you tell yourself. Your inner critic is louder than all of the other voices around you combined.
A dozen people could compliment your work and you would lie to yourself that you should have done better. Three hundred people could compliment you on your outfit, and then one (you) can undo it all. Sadly, there are some lies we share in common. Ones that many of us tell ourselves and ones that damage us deeply.
You draw confidence from within yourself and that’s impossible to do if you allow it to run out because of the lies you tell.
1. I Am Untrustworthy
Unfortunately, many of us tell ourselves that we can’t be trusted. Not by other people, but by ourselves. You can’t trust your decisions, you can’t trust your opinions. Even though we all come with an inner compass, a guidance system, and pretty accurate intuition. Trust yourself, and you will win.
2. I Will Never Be Happy
Or perhaps even worse, “I will never be happy until I have <insert want here>. “ You won’t be happy just because you got a new phone or television. Sure, you will enjoy a sense of accomplishment, especially if you worked to get it. However, it’s fleeting. You don’t need a particular thing to feel a certain way. You already have everything you need to be happy, you just need to reach inside and grab it. When you fall into the trap of believing that attaining things brings you happiness, then you are stuck in a vicious cycle.
For example, you set goals and you work to achieve them. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, it’s an important part of life especially when you have certain expectations. Don’t stop doing that. However, we often set goals and chase things we don’t really want. It’s just something we think we want. So, when we get there we experience a sweet buzz, but it doesn’t last very long. Sometimes we think that finishing something will lead to never-ending happiness. When that doesn’t happen we tell ourselves there can be no happiness for us, that we are broken. It’s a lie. In truth, success comes from contentment – not the other way around.
3. All My Mistakes Are Such A Waste Of My Time
All of your mistakes have brought you to this point – that’s true. However, your past mistakes aren’t ruining your opportunities now. Think of all the positives in your life – without those mistakes you never would have those either. Your mistakes aren’t holding you back unless you fail to learn from them. Start re-framing failure. When you make a mistake look for the lesson, move on, and do better. That’s the key.
4. Life keeps dealing me a bad hand
You have a lot more control than you think. If you are stuck, take responsibility and get yourself out. Make better choices. Stop being a victim and take back your power.
You’re not alone in the lies that you tell yourself. We all do it. They sow seeds of doubt in your mind and conjure up paralyzing fears. The lies blind you to the opportunities that are right in front of you. They make you a victim instead of a warrior.
Not only do they bruise your confidence, but they also shatter your self-esteem and hurt your inner self. Waiting for some external thing to occur so that you can feel a particular way is a dead end. The change happens inside of you. Fix yourself, your attitude, your beliefs and you will fix your life.